


Orphan Waves.

by SavannahWalker



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Orphanage, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Liall - BFF, Life Problems, M/M, Original Character(s), Puppy Liam, Sad Zayn, Sassy Louis, Something Worst Is Coming, Teenagers, Tired Niall, Zarry - BFF, Ziam Mayne - Freeform, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, naive Harry, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3238406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavannahWalker/pseuds/SavannahWalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU!Orphanage - Louis, Harry, Niall and Liam met each other four years ago at the orphanage, now they live day by day trying to avoid their teenager problems and teasing their headmistress, Louise Teasdale. Zayn joined them, after his life turn upside down, but at first he didn't matter to be a friendly roommate. They are trying to help him enjoy the little things he has after all, but it's not easy!<br/>In the background there's so many problems that will come out like a bomb and, obviously, our guys can't stand here doing nothing and, perhaps, they could have help from someone they never expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blue_Bones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Bones/gifts).



> In this story our guys met when they were: Louis 13, Niall and Liam 11 and Harry 10 years old.  
> Now, they're: Louis 17, Niall + Liam + Zayn 15 and Harry 14 years old.
> 
> There will be some tormented Ziam and fluffy Larry.  
> Niall has his chance too.

#  **— PROLOGUE —**

 

 

 

It’s 11th October, it had to be still autumn but weather was fooling everyone. The frosty howling wind made slam all the windows and doors still open, people came back home trying not to go off balance while hanging tight their coats. Those days were not exactly the best, most of the citizens in the city were part of middle-lower class, forced to work in factories or in the few poor family shop. The municipality was trying to avoid taxes than necessary, requesting loans to the county but without results. With the increasingly common diseases many children became orphans at early age, that’s why it was necessary build “Happily Orphanage”. Funny, isn’t it? They probably thought it could be a glimmer of hope for those who entered but it only increased the sadness of its existence. However, guys who grew up there luckily had competent and caring people around, happy to help those who had no fault of their social situation. Often, someone offered them a part time job so they could have some money to save for whatever they need, and the owner runs the shack without paying real expensive salaries to the employees.

Two of them were hiding behind an old tavern, looking at one giant window where soft yellow and pink lights draw attention to a beautiful three-layer cake garnished with violet decorations, cream dripping from the side.

 «Come on! You do it every night!» yelled Liam, who’s standing above Niall.

 «I steal food for my poor stomach, which feels so alone in the night, from a poor orphanage kitchen. Steal a birthday cake from a luxurious pastry, where Harry luckily works, in the city center… Yeah! Exactly the same, Payno!» whispered the one on his knees, frowning.

That damn cake could be the perfect gift for their headmistress’ birthday. She always did the best she can to take care of her little orphans — or _candies_ , how she loves to call them — like a real mother do, or it supposed to be. They couldn’t make a comparison, they didn’t have one so none of them know have a mother is but they thought it was kind of.

Niall didn't figure out how he got into this, even if he was complaining from the start. The plan was to wait Harry’s signal to get in the pastry, after the closing time, steal the cake directly from the shop and get away like nothing happened. Surely may seem that three poor boys can easily buy a giant cake if the pastry’s brand wasn’t in each box side. Niall thought that it will never work, like never ever. Probably they’ll be caught in action and Harry will get fired. It’s sounds more possible then everything about their moot plan. He remembered the conversation they had that morning.

_«Simple but with effects!» Louis said._

_«Why are you not coming with us?» he asked, a little upset._

_«Why are you even asking that, Nialler? I’m the mind and you, my dearest fellows, are my arms!» he replied, spreading his arms._

_He sighed in disbelief when both Harry and Liam agreed with him screaming "YAY!"_

 

It was almost seven o’ clock and no one is in the street so, they started to walking like normal people usually do, showing an _I’m-not-a-petty-thief_ attitude. Liam was the worst, he was clearly shaking like a leaf and looking around suspiciously. Thankfully, Harry’s head came out from the back door. He waved at them to moving fast, they speeded up the pace ‘till they entered the wood door. Liam tried to say _“Hello”_ but Harry put one finger on his lips, silenced him. He took their hand and leading them through the small kitchen, which still smells of sugar, then to the main area of the shop. He pointed an undefined spot in the dark, seems like a counter, they nodded, even sure if he could see them, and hide under it. There’s no sound and it was kinda creepy. Niall felt Liam’s boy pressed his, certainly afraid of not seeing anything beyond his nose. In his head, he was surely surrounded by an infinite number of insects or ghosts, who knows.

 «I’ve finished, Simon. Can I go home?» Harry asked, apparently to the air «Good, he already left. Last to come and first to go. If he’s not so kind to me, I’ll probably said he’s a schmuck at work!»

 «You’ve said it, at least» Liam pointed out.

Harry bent his head one side, misunderstanding his words. It’s even possible misunderstanding something so easy? It’s Harry, he had just finished working and he had to steal a cake, maybe he’s just tired and he didn’t catch the joke.

 «Anyway» he continued «We have to do it quickly. Under the cash register there are some cardboard box, take the biggest and return to the kitchen. I’m going to take the cake!» he finished.

When they’re all in the kitchen, Harry took a pastry bag and speedily wrote _“Happy Birthday Lou!”_ on the cake top, packed and held it carefully to the other two. He’s really good at it. They walked down the poorly made back roads and reached the orphanage in less than thirty minutes, just in time to deliver the cake to the cooks and meet Louis.

He was waiting for them, in front of the refectory entrance, with a grimace in his lips. He hugged them while saying he never doubted their abilities, confirming how a fantastic surprise it would be. Harry pressed his hands in to Louis’ back, pushed him in to the room, while he continued his rant on how it was the greatest idea he could have had in seventeen years. The three of them looked at each other, rolled their eyes and laughed. They sat down to their usual table, the one on the right and near the window, waiting silently for the cooks serving dinner.

Harry was too tired to talk about any topic, he had worked hard and avoid the existence of the possibility of being fired, is the only thing he could do. Liam was nervous too, you could tell by how he nerve-wracking drummed his fingers onto the table. Niall just wanted the cake was eaten as soon as possible to feel less guilty, nothing he usually feel when he hogs everything from the pantry. Louis was the one still overexcited, hopping on the chair, apparently still had a lot to say but didn’t know where to start. He rested his elbows on the table and leaned his torso forward, as if to reveal the most secret of secrets.

 «Pssst! Mates!» he called them in low voice «Have you seen this guy standing here all alone? Don’t all of you dare turn at the same time» he stopped in advance his friends from staring at this mysterious boy’s nape.

 «I think he’s new, he didn’t t— Oh, thanks Nora! What I was saying? Oh, Yeah! He didn’t talk to anyone yet. Such an asshole!» Louis finished, while he’s passing his friends their food.

 «Don’t be so rude, Lou!» Harry said, taking the fork near his plate.

Before he could reply, all of them staring at their own plate, they looked at each other in surprise. It was a special evening, everyone in orphanage remember Lou’s birthday, but they didn’t expect to eat _fresh fish_. Nobody remembered how it tastes like, the room were light by smiles. Their headmistress had exceeded herself! She always wants the best for her _candies_ but this went far beyond her possibilities. The orphanage wasn’t enjoying substantial donations so probably, almost sure, she had paid all of her own. They turned toward her, who urged them to start eating without waiting some mystical signs.

 

 

When they were about to finish that pleasant dinner, Louis resumed their previously conversation.

 «Returning to the mysterious boy… I know a couple of interesting things—»

 «That we don’t want to listen so, it wouldn’t ruin this delicious dinner that will remain in our dreams for a looong time!» Liam stopped him.

Louis huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, sulking.

Harry sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders «Or, maybe, we could listen what our Drama Queen have to say».

 «Thanks, Harold I kn— I’m not a Drama Queen, you jerk!» he yelled «Anyway, when you want to seriously listen to me, let me know».

Niall took his hands «Please, Louis! I can’t live another day without your old lady conversation in front of a shot of scotch!» he begged, kissing them.

All of them laughed, even Louis, but he didn’t want to give him satisfaction by doing a disgusted face.

 «Well, if you insist, my dear Irish drunkard… I’ve heard he’s just lost his family, both his parents been murdered by shots in their head. They had some strange things go on but I didn’t understand what, when or how» he ended, with a serious gaze in his eyes.

 «How do you know such private information?» Liam asked, clearly shocked.

 «Oh, I was just walking around and, by _coincidence_ , I’ve stopped in front of Lou’s office!» he replied, proudly.

 «Are there any chance that you stay quietly in your room, sometimes?»

 «Definitely not!» Louis exclaimed, banging his fist on the table.

Harry covered his eyes in disbelief while Niall’s praying, murmured to someone "up there" the reason why his friends never were normal. Liam knew that all of them gave up, on Louis’ habit of poke his nose in everything could be an interesting source of gossip, a long time ago. Sometimes they thought he’s definitely a prima donna, but they love him just the way he is. Surely, Harry was the one who had more patience with him and vice versa. They always be more closed than anyone else, especially after that _accident_. They stole alcohol from Lou’s office, Niall said that she probably never drink it so there’s nothing wrong from lend and then return it to the proprietary, and get drunk in their room. Harry and Louis, for still unknown reasons, ended up kissing in front of them. They still pretend to don’t remember that epic moment when Harry throws up his dinner all over Louis’ chest.

He and Niall laughed so hard at the vision of truly sorry Harry and Louis who was trying to comfort him, despite the disgusting face. From that moment onwards, they were aware that among those two there was something more, even if they didn’t want to admit it to themselves. It never was a problem, if they are happy together, who were they to hold it against them? They are best friends, nobody could complain.

Liam was distracted from his thoughts by all the _candies_ , who were singing “Happy Birthday”. Lou stood up from her chair, both her hands covered her mouth, eyes wide open in surprise. Something the guys never expected, happened: Simon, Harry’s boss, entered the room singing and clapping his hand while the cooks taking her cake in to the room. He kissed her cheeks twice and then smiling at Harry.

«I don’t know what to say, really, thank you!» she began «I’m really happy my candies made me this surprise! Since I know this cake had been stolen, I didn’t want to accept it, but thanks to Simon — very merciful guy — we can enjoy this masterpiece!» everybody cheered.

 «But there’s aftermath for one of you… Mr. Styles, You have to work hard to charge the cake price but, don’t worry, you’ll have help from your dearest friend. I know you had the big idea, Tomlinson. Now, everyone come here for a slice of cake!» she ended.

They’ve lost their appetite. They messed up everything. Liam almost faint, Niall slammed several times his head on the table while Louis blabbering something about how it possible everything gone so wrong in two minutes. Harry was staring at an undefined point out the window, frozen. Something was going on in his mind, trying to figure out where they had fail. Then he got it and he wish he never did.

 «I-I’m sorry… R-really, really sorry…» he murmured.

 «For God’s sake, what are you saying Haz?!» Niall asked, in exasperation.

 «I-I’m sorry. I’ve totally forgotten that Simon leave first for complete every home delivery and _then_ return to the shop for entirely closed it» he said in one breath.

After a few seconds of silence, everyone laughs, even Louis that usually go mad if he had forgot something _so_ important. What had been done couldn’t be changed, no? There was no need to be angry at all.

 «Hazza being Hazza!» he said, hugging Harry.

Lou caught their attention by clapping her hands and the room was immediately silent.

 «Before you leave to your rooms, I’m pleased to introduce you a new candy in our family! Please come here!» the all-alone-guy they were staring at, reluctantly reached her «He’s Zayn, everyone please be kind with him. My dear, your roommates are that four pilferers I mentioned before. I’m sure you could be good friends!»

 

They went to their room and relaxed immediately on their beds, tired and upset by the many events. The room was large enough to hold two bunk beds, a single bed and a walk-in closet. Louis and Niall occupied lower ones because they suffered dizziness and the idea of falling off the bed above, it was not very attractive. So, Harry and Liam sacrificed themselves for the afraid princesses.

When they first met, they were between ten and thirteen years old. The first to get in the orphanage was Louis, one month later Niall and Liam joined him. They became best friends after five minutes. Louis couldn’t stand Niall’s attitude, always so happy and open throughout. In addition, he’s Irish. Anything against the Irish in general, it was just one more reason to hate him. Liam was the most realistic and aware of the situation between the three, he didn’t understand how the two could get along. What was nice to be in an orphanage, without a family that loves you? He barely speaks to him, only if it’s necessary, although Liam was trying to make him like the blonde one. Four months passed by very fast and here comes the shy naive Harry, with his long curly hair and his dimples. He had taken very long time to get out his comfort zone, but he always was a loyal friend. He was the one who made Louis appreciated Niall, saying that what he saw as “bothering him” was just a way to get his attention and try to please him in every way possible. Louis wondered why he had to do it, they shared the same oxygen, wasn’t enough? The punch he received straight to his forehead was proving that Harry knows a lot of things about people's behaviour, even he was just ten years old child. _He cares about you, idiot! You act always as a sassy, but he knows it's sadness, everyone know! He just wants to see you smile!_ He never forget those words, sometimes he recalled it to himself when he feels the need to murder Niall really slowly. Now, four years later, they are still together.

Someone knocked on their door and then came in, he was Zayn. He silently arranged his clothes in the walk-in closet and lied in his bed with closed eyes. Liam stared at his — maybe too much — slim body, focusing on the jaw lined with a hint of dark beard as his hair, gathered into a small ponytail. He felt a chill run down his back, he’s really a pretty sight. Perhaps, he’s the same age of Louis.

 «H-Hello! I’m Harry» he said, since no one wanted to say a word to who would become their new roommate «There’s Louis, Niall and Liam. Nice to meet you! If you need an—»

 «I don’t need your help, thanks for asking so I don’t have to explain it myself» Zayn stopped him, going under his blanket and turning his back to them.

 «The displeasure is all mine!» Louis said, snorting.

Harry threw a pillow onto his face, whispering «Tommo! He’s just loose his parent, you idiot!»

Louis muttered something in return when Niall spoke grave «We are all here for the same things, no parents, remember? So, you’ll try being friendly or, I swear to God, I’m gonna kill you so lickety-split that your banshee couldn’t have the time to screams. Now, if you don’t mind, please turn the light off. I need some rest».

Everybody looked at him like none of them expected him to say things so harshly. Never underestimate an angry Niall. Louis gasped and turns off the light.

Liam wasn’t sure but it seemed that Zayn was smiling about the idea of Louis shushed in two seconds. It will take time to understand him, his life has just been turned upside down, it won’t be easy.

 «Uhmn, about that cake» Zayn said in the dark «Harry could simply ask if he could take it or make one similar».

In a certain sense, he already likes him. 


	2. Chapter I

#  **— CHAPTER I —**

 

 

 

Even if they were at an orphanage, they had to take lesson of most important subject like math, history, literature and English, like the others children in the city. Basically there were two classes: one with children aged from five to ten years old and another one, from eleven to eighteen years old. Municipality sent each year seven new teachers and then moves them to a better school, usually out of town. Most of them couldn’t wait to leave for ignore again the conditions that poor decadent place is, while others grow fond and visited them during holidays, bringing some used clothes. And, then, there was the English teacher. No one knew how long he was there. Probably they built the orphanage around him while he was sitting in his chair. He could hardly understand himself, made himself understood by the students wasn’t conceivable. He was the typical English man in his sixties. White swept-back hair, small rounded glasses on his nose’s tip and myopia getting worse years by years. Usually, he made good jokes but that day he hadn’t anything fun to say. Rain was raging from early morning and it spreads a feeling of sadness and turns everything to grey, everything looked so boring. Someone snoozing on its desk, someone playing with the pages of English grammar book and someone trying to listen to the lesson but with its head out there. Weather could turn everything in a static phase, looking for something in you blurred mind but you can’t see anything but a fine fog, your thoughts erased.

Harry felt exactly like this. It’s two weeks since Zayn arrived and he currently speaks to no one but him. Zayn explained he was the first not afraid to talk to him, even if he was always so rude, he knew he’s sincerely and he wasn’t going to force him being nicer even if he didn’t want to. Harry was actually scared. Did it mean he is a bad person? He couldn’t believe that. He thought Zayn is the one who rather than say what he really thinks and feels, prefer a carriage run down over him several time. Although, Harry had some difficulties to express himself with right words but he’s a good listener. He always noticed how people behave around him and he’s able to recognize who can or can’t be his friend. Instead, he didn’t like the other lads. Harry tried so many times to get him into them and made him see how special they are but he always find their lacks, not so wrong at all.

Clearly he didn’t like Louis, perhaps he almost hated him. He pretends to be the star. Like everything is Louis-centric, and his sassiness? He can’t stand. Trying to seem funny by degrading all those around him only because he doesn’t know any other way to be appreciated. Liam seems the one who can’t go anywhere without his best friend ready to catch him if he falls, scared by his shadow. He didn’t need someone who will always hide behind a curtain, a _coward_ , textually. Niall? Unconcerned. It’s little pathetic he’s only interested in food and play the guitar, but he would like to see him angry more often. Even if he used harsh words, Harry never discomposed. He loved his friends with strengths and weakness. They always were there for him and Zayn will understand that too, sooner or later. With his siblings, he decided that for first times he should stay with Zayn alone at school and lunch, so he could trust him and then, step by step, also trusted them. Louis never dealt with that but he had no choice.

Zayn was drawing in his sketchbook, furrowed eyebrow and pursed lips in concentration. He was really good at it, probably natural talent. He was drawing a girl playing on a seesaw. It could be sweet, she’s smiling, but Harry noticed it seems kinda sad. Her dark hair moved by the wind, her head up, looking at the flying birds and someone undefined push her, like a ghost. He probably approached too much because Zayn closed it, bothered. He rested his head on it and closed his eyes. That’s something he didn’t expect, he didn’t think his drawing could be something so personal to be unseen. Harry turned to his friends and saw Louis, two desks after him, staring at Zayn’s back with hate glare in his eyes. He shocked his head and wrote down something on a note, then tapped on Niall’s head, who was snoozing too loud. He jumped and rubbed his eyes, murmuring something about how much he hate been waking up when he’s dreaming good things.  When he realized his presence, he took the note Harry was leading him.

 

_Would you please tell Louis that staring at Zayn like a jealous wife, don’t make things better?_

 

Niall raised an eyebrow, grimace, and gave the note to Louis, who froze after reading. He crossed his arms and look away while Harry was smiling, than he felt a paper ball hit his head. Niall rest his head on Liam’ shoulders who didn’t notice because he was overthinking. He was obsessed with Zayn. He tried everything to get with him but there’s no way. He didn’t know what to do either, he avoided him every time he found something could work, but at the end, it never worked. He recognized that sometimes he’s scary with his nervous smile and words came out without any sense. He knew Zayn knows exactly what’s on his mind, and it’s too scary too.

When the ring belled, guys immediately stood up. They were waiting for anything else, even the teacher. Harry wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, he knew the answer could be doubtless a “NO”, but he asked Zayn to have lunch with other lads. He frowned as if it was the dumbest question in the world. He scratched his forehead and thought for a nice way to decline that uncomfortable invitation. Moreover, Harry was his only friend just trying to be nice, he hadn’t any fault. Before he could reply, Louis spoke after him.

 «Don’t try it, Haz. Maybe a _self-centered_ , a _coward_ and an _idiot_ aren’t something _your Majesty_ can’t stand at».

 «For the first time, I have to agree with the Drama Queen» Zayn said, pointing him with his thumb.

Harry looking at Louis, waiting for his reaction, whatever it could be. He couldn’t handle alone the bomb was going to explode. He clenched his fists and took a step forward,

 «Don’t you dare call me like that!» Louis yelled.

 «Or what? You’ll hit me? You can’t ruin your nails, _my fair lady_!» Zayn said, derisory.

They saw the right moment when Louis lost his nerves. He dashed forward Zayn and punched him straight right on his mouth. Zayn hit his nose in return. They started bleeding and continued fight till Niall took away Louis and Liam and Harry blocked Zayn by his arms. Their companions looked them astonished, they weren’t accustomed to fights and certainly even in saw Louis in that mood. Meanwhile, the teacher left the room and called Lou. She looked at them horrifying and with atone voice she said «All of you. In my office. NOW».

Zayn shook off his shoulder and follow her without looking back.

Harry took Louis’ collar and made him close.

 «What were you thinking?» he asked, rusty.

 «What?! He began all, Haz! Are you serious? He called us —»

 «I don’t give a fuck since you called him _asshole_ when you don’t even know his name!»

Louis passed over in silence. Liam took Harry forearm and leaned him out of the room. Niall tried to push Louis’ back but he slapped his hands. Everyone’s staring at him. He sighed and quickly reached his friends. They were standing in front of Lou, low heads and worried faces.

Zayn pressed his sleeves on his mouth, trying to stop the hemorrhage, sniggering. He wasn’t completely sorry to had beaten Louis. He put into line that pretty face breaking his nose. He deserved it, after all. No one pissed out Zayn Malik.

 «I don’t want to know why you were fighting. I just wanna tell you that you should be an example for the youngest. You should be ashamed of yourself.»

 «Lou, please —»

 «Silence, Styles. I don’t have finished yet» she paused «All of you, after lunch, will stay in the kitchen and wash every single plates were used. Perhaps you could know each other and be friends. I don’t want any problems, again. Is that clear?»

They nodded silently and Niall hit Louis shoulder, while he was blabbering something about how Zayn was a pain in the ass.

 «Well, now go. Think how you’re not different from a bunch of monkeys»

 

After lunch, where no one talked, they made their way to the kitchen. The cooks show them where soap and sponges are and then left. They dumbly divided their tasks. Harry washed and Louis dried , on the other side Liam and Zayn did the same and Niall put everything in its place. They work silently, it could be heard just the sponges rubbing and plates arranged one above the other. No one wanted to speak, even Louis that usually would made bad jokes about their punishment. Air was heavy and unpleasant and if there’s someone who couldn’t handle this was Niall. He know Louis behave was due to jealousy and the harsh words the other used, but he could understand how Zayn feels like. He also passed by Louis’ clutches and sometimes he didn’t know how he never reacted like Zayn. Louis wasn’t a bad guy, it’s such a defense method grow up as the time passing by. Sometimes he had to figure out that not every person in this word is a pain in the ass, like him. The mood was still very low. He looked around, waiting for a brainstorm, and there it was. He took a sponge and dipped it in dirty water, then throw it at Louis’ neck. The sponge thudded as Louis turned to face Niall.

 «That’s not funny, Horan» he paused «This is!» ended throwing a wet cloth right in his face, sounded like a smack.

Harry covered his mouth and grimaced in pain.

 «Ouch! That’s hurt!» Liam whispered to Zayn, who accurate ignored him, but smiled.

 «You’re dead, Tommo. As those traitors who stand here doing nothing in my defense!» he yelled.

The next ten minutes were a chaotic slide and hit with soap and water. Harry was skating on the floor waving at Louis, trying to catch his attention, but he was scuffling with Niall. Harry ended up going on to Zayn, who was spouting Liam. They butt headed and falling in to the ground. When Liam realized that Zayn is topping him, his heart start racing very fast as it have to jump out his chest. He could feel Zayn’s breath on his lips. Zayn blushed so hard that his face was all red. He wants to move but he couldn’t, he was paralyzed. They stared at each other for few seconds, before Niall leaned a hand at Zayn, helping him standing up. Louis was laughing so hard that he almost crying. He never saw Liam’s brain scrappy for such a short boy-to-boy contact. He looked at Harry, who probably was giggling for the same reason.

Louis was aware that Harry knew something more about Zayn. He tried so many times to make him talk, playing his best cards hitting his weak spots, but he changed the subject every time he heard the words “About Zayn…”. He didn’t want to force him but he _has_ to know. Nothing persuaded him, even his sweet cuddle before sleeping — yeah, they cuddle before going to sleep since ages — and after two weeks he had no point at all. He always repeated that they had to wait Zayn really felt free to talk about him and his life.

For all the afternoon classes, Liam and Zayn accurately avoid each other, burying themselves under their sweaters. Louis could never tell Zayn was the type who loses his temper with someone like Liam. You know, look at him, he’s definitely a puppy, nobody can't falling in love with him. Maybe he was... No, it was _impossible_. He called him a _coward_ , why he has to have some interest in Liam, in that way? No. Also, he continued to mistreat him, so, everything made its course and nobody fell in love with Liam. Not that no one had to fall for him, simply he didn’t have to be Zayn. He could hurt him and he could pay with some of his powerful punches. That sounded better.

 

Before going to bed, they used to have a quite long shower in the shared bathroom of their floor. Liam was always the first to come out, but this time it wasn’t invigorating as usually. So many thoughts whirled through his head, so fast enough to gave headache.  Steamed drops glided slowly while he was looking his reflection on the bathroom mirror. He was pale white and the only thing he could focus on was the path they did on the misted surface. He felt a severe pain chest, his breath going hyperventilating and cold sweats shaking his body. He definitely had a panic attack. He winced when he heard his friend close the water jet, dry themself chuckling. He didn’t want anybody tries to touch him. He clenched his fingers on the sink, lowering his head slightly. With the corner of the eyes, he noticed Zayn was staring at him. Perfect, just what he needed. He couldn’t avoid the image of Zayn above him, especially the feeling that he had about that _thing_. The only thrill that came close was the one he felt when he had a crush on Danielle and they kissed for the first time, but it was still nothing compared to Zayn’s barely one inch by his mouth. He was only fifteen and he didn’t know _what_ or _how_ love is, he wasn’t sure he could like a _boy_ , but Lou always said that “Love hit so hard, you will never be prepare enough. Just love”. Surely, it had increase Zayn’s hate for him. He didn’t know why he cares so much about him and that thing. He couldn’t pretend to be appreciated by everyone, but the thought of isn’t up to be his friend, frightened him. How many times he hadn’t been up to in his life? He wasn’t even in that moment ... But he _didn’t_ _want_ and _didn’t have_ to think about it.

He tried to stay calm and wearing his pajama as fast as he can. He left the bathroom and ran to his room. He slammed the door and rested his forehead on the room’s wall. His mind was empty and his body weary, slipping in his knees down the floor. Sometime he wished that somebody take off his brain from his nose — like he read in his history book —  and live without caring about anything anymore, even his proper life. Amoeba with a happy life. Niall opened the door and, when he realized his friend was in the floor, he took his hand without say anything and lead him to his bed. Liam smiled at him, he was the one who know him better than himself. They slept together every time Liam had a panic attack or simply felt sick. He just hugged him and rubbed his hands over his back, a simple gesture that concerned his fear of being alone. He was afraid to be without any friends and, especially, lose Liam. Albeit he knew he had no intention to leave him, he always was there for him even if they squabbled for stupid things. He loved him with all his heart.

Before the other three rested in their bed, Louis heard Zayn whispered in Harry’s ear.

 «Do they always sleep together like this?» he asked, a little disappointed.

Harry replied something Louis didn’t catch.

Wait, Zayn was disappointed? So, really? It means he cares about Liam and his stuff? He cares about someone and, this _someone_ , is Liam?

 «Never in a million years!» he blurted, maybe too loud.

 «Lou? Everything’s alright?» Harry asked.

He didn’t reply, he just turned his blanket on him and thinking how _unlikely_ the entire situation was.


End file.
